Pissed off

So I'm sitting on the couch watching "Beverly Hills Cop" tonight and my eye hemorrhages. Again. For the 7th or 8th time in the past 3 years.

I'm pissed. And now I can't even make out the computer monitor with my right eye.

To use Nancy Kerrigan's famous cry, "why?" I just am in shock that this has happened yet again. Why, dammit, why?

How can I fix the things that torment my body now? Type 2 diabetes wasn't supposed to be the bad one. I wasn't supposed to lose my vision. But it comes and goes.

What a nightmare. There are times that I feel like I'm trying to shut a barn door where all the horses have already run through. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Earlier today, I had the feeling that things were just about to turn around a bit. Get my business back in order. Get some order to life. Nowhere in that series of thoughts did I envision my eye blowing out again.

Part of me feels like I'm exaggerating stuff when I mention it. Wanted my friends to know that the eye had hemorrhaged, but it's not all that bad. Well yes, it is that bad. I don't even know what to say to folks. Bad shit just keeps happening. I don't know how to fix things.